As I write this last blog for the year 2011 it is with much gratitude to all of you for helping me on this journey. Also much gratitude to a Heavenly Father or what ever higher being you might believe in. I am thanful in my faith and trust in someone I cannot see, yet opens so many doors especially for me this year. It has been 10 days since i've blogged. My daughter had wiped everything off my computer and didn't explain to me how to get back on. Finally I tried and it worked.
There has been several things that have been on my mind. A week ago I overheard two women talking in the shower room at the Sports Academy. The one was comenting how hard the holidays are to watch your eating, with all the treats, parties, etc. My daughter and I was sitting in the hot tub. I turned to her and said, yea, it hasn't been any fun. She didn't know what I was talking about, so I told her what had been said, and she asked me what hadn't been any fun. I answered by recalling everything I hadn't done Like making all the wonderful candy I always make, eating what was dropped by by friends and neighbors etc. As I thought about what had just come out of my mouth I thought how stupid it sounded. How could eating the way I had always eaten for all these years be fun. Being a prisoner in my body and house...Now that's no fun.
Food for thought uh? The next night we had the privalege of going up to the university to watch the show put on by Pickelville. I remembered how a year ago just tring to get in to the building took me forever I kept having to stop and sit to catch my breath. This year I was out of the car keeping up with the kids and before any of us realized we had walked to the building and were in our seats. Now that was fun! But I'll be honest I've not been a happy lady since then. I don't know whats going on. It's almost like it's scaring me if I change so I have gotten really grumpy(really the B word), and everyone is ready to throw me away. I fight with everyone, especially my kids, My poor trainer, I have fought everything anyone says to me. If someone says to exercise I want to do the opposite, if someone says don't eat that I eat twice as much as I should. If I wasn't 50 I'd swear I was my two year old grand daughter.
So the moral of this story is in two hours2011 is over. My family and I have been extremely blessed, this last month I have spun my wheels, really not going backward but not going forward like I wanted or where I wanted to be by now.
So as 2012 rings in so do new goals, decisions, blessings, adventures, and who knows what...
My wish for myself is just to take it by minutes, hours, days, months. Baby steps will turn into great accomplishments, physically, mentally, etc. I wish all of you a great New Year! I hope the best for all of us on whatever journey any of us might be on. Stay with me on my journey and we'll start cruising instead of spinning. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Baby steps are all you need and when you fall someone will always be there to catch you and help you back up. Keep it going! I have so much excitement to see what you do this year.
ReplyDeleteIn her heart she holds the dreams
ReplyDeleteThat she's carried since the day she turned 13:
Of all that she would be when she was grown;
Of all that she would do when she was finally on her own. She dreamed she'd fly & she's still waiting for the chance to try.
In the mean time, she's a mother & a daughter & a wife.
Doing all she can to stay above the daily grind
& she wonders when she'll ever have more meaning in her life. She doesn't know she's being molded & refined, In the meantime.
Someday she'll go back to school, when the carpools & the soccer games are through,
'Cause deep inside she's still the girl
Who has always felt the fire to make a difference in the world. She dreams she'll soar when she finally has the time to do more.
But, in the meantime, she's a sister & a teacher & a friend & hours turn into days that turn to years that never end, But she wonders when she'll ever really find herself again. She's become one on whom God can depend, In the mean time.
Heaven feels the joy of every victory in her life,
& Heaven hears her heart before she cries
& somewhere in the middle of the triumphs & the trails, She's become sanctified.
But, in the meantime, she's an answer & blessing & a gift To every empty, aching heart that only she can lift.
Still she wonder if she'll ever get to see where heaven is-
If only she could see her mansion waiting there,
If only she could feel how much her Father really cares, She would see how she's being perfectly prepared,
In the mean time