It's been a week since I've written, but I had to take a minute today and say what a great day! Let me bring you up to date on what happened at my weigh in last Thurs. For the month of Feb. I only lost two pounds. I was pretty bummed because as far as I'm concerned I've worked really hard and am trying to do everything I've learned. I was upset and so we measured. I lost over 12" this month. That puts me at 34lbs, and 42" in 4 months. I am doing 30 laps in 30 min. in the pool, plus going to water arobics and also training on land. My meals are getting better and thats what I wanted to talk about today. As in previous blogs there are times that my work takes over and today had the potential of doing that. But I got up and did my 30 laps, plus a water class. I went home and took a min. to make a snack. The next 5 hours was spent working and doing it all by myself (and did it, YEA!) I took a min. to then have lunch, before I had to go set my job up. It ended up looking so great, and I felt good at what I had accomplished, but more importantly still took the time to do what I had to do for myself. It's been a eye opener lately how things are changing. How my mind works differently, how my body is starting to expect the exercise.
People told me when I started that it takes 21 days for a habbit to form, well for an obese person it takes a lot longer because it's more about what's going on in the head more than even the body. I've told myself for so long that I can't do things, that it's hard to say now I can or at least try to do it.
It's been so good to have to come to the gym and account to someone, and the support that has come from all of the clients, staff, trainers, etc. is greatly appreciated. I have ment so many people that are so awesome, and they each have their own story as to why their there. Thanks to you all!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
2/19/12
Accountablity & Concequences these are words that have been thrown at me this week. They are words we use with our children (teenagers) a lot. As children we want them to grow up to be responsible adults. As adults we want to be responsible. But sometimes we make mistakes and when called on it throw tantrams like our children. I don't know about you but I have done this all my life. I have never I quess been accountable for my actions. If I wanted to eat I did, if I wanted to sit I did, If I wanted to believe I couldn't do something, I didn't do it. Now I'm thrown into a situation where it doesn't matter if I think I can succeed, there are people that do believe and they aren't listening to the excuses or the I can't, they just expect me to do it. I might not do it up to my specifications but I'm doing it. The excuses are there, I let life in general take me over, but the consequences to this is I'm going to lose this opportunity, and that's just not going to happen. So kick my big fat butt, lose the life excuses and get the fire back that I had 4 months ago when I started.
When my mother lectured for weight watchers when I was little, I remember her talking to her clients when they got discouraged or nonchalaunt about doing the food plan, and would find themselves cheating as they use to call it, or kind of spinning their wheels. The advice she gave them is go Back to The Basics!
Go back to writing everything down, go back to measureing, excersizing, etc. Someone told me the other day that this is my job. I also had someone ask me if when my son got home was I going to quit coming. Well the answer to both of those questions is yes this is like a job. You have certain hours you work, there's always planning and exicuting your work ability, But NO, heck NO am I going to stop this when my son comes home. Even though I have my days I struggle, I am not going to give this up, I do realize the difference it's made in these last 4 months, and I hope it eventually will become an everyday thing. When they say it's a lifestyle change they are correct. Having delt with my husband, and his illness no I don't want to be buried I want to LIVE and sometimes it BULL S*&?^&(* (SORRY I couldn't help myself) this is a private joke with some of the women in the pool that are reading the blog. They said I should use these words, because sometimes it's just how we feel. It's hard to change, and make the time for all this stuff, and sometimes the feelings come back to haunt you thats it just to hard. Then we get done with the water class and we're glad we all came.
I appreciate again the many people at the gym that's rooting me on, you'll never know how your words of encouragement help me. But on the other hand this is about the time where I get complacent, because if I think I'm starting to do good or look good, then those stupid voices take over saying your doing so good you don't need this, or you can skip a couple of days, or go ahead and have a gut bomb it won't hurt you. I don't know if this is called pride or whatever, but it really is a pain in the butt. Because this is when I start to falter. So please tell me I'm doing great, but put that," but you can still do so much better" in there. This way I won't get a big head!
I weigh on Thursday I really hope I 'll be out of the 400's, but I have struggled this month so who knows.
I hope you have a great week, and stay on the journey!
When my mother lectured for weight watchers when I was little, I remember her talking to her clients when they got discouraged or nonchalaunt about doing the food plan, and would find themselves cheating as they use to call it, or kind of spinning their wheels. The advice she gave them is go Back to The Basics!
Go back to writing everything down, go back to measureing, excersizing, etc. Someone told me the other day that this is my job. I also had someone ask me if when my son got home was I going to quit coming. Well the answer to both of those questions is yes this is like a job. You have certain hours you work, there's always planning and exicuting your work ability, But NO, heck NO am I going to stop this when my son comes home. Even though I have my days I struggle, I am not going to give this up, I do realize the difference it's made in these last 4 months, and I hope it eventually will become an everyday thing. When they say it's a lifestyle change they are correct. Having delt with my husband, and his illness no I don't want to be buried I want to LIVE and sometimes it BULL S*&?^&(* (SORRY I couldn't help myself) this is a private joke with some of the women in the pool that are reading the blog. They said I should use these words, because sometimes it's just how we feel. It's hard to change, and make the time for all this stuff, and sometimes the feelings come back to haunt you thats it just to hard. Then we get done with the water class and we're glad we all came.
I appreciate again the many people at the gym that's rooting me on, you'll never know how your words of encouragement help me. But on the other hand this is about the time where I get complacent, because if I think I'm starting to do good or look good, then those stupid voices take over saying your doing so good you don't need this, or you can skip a couple of days, or go ahead and have a gut bomb it won't hurt you. I don't know if this is called pride or whatever, but it really is a pain in the butt. Because this is when I start to falter. So please tell me I'm doing great, but put that," but you can still do so much better" in there. This way I won't get a big head!
I weigh on Thursday I really hope I 'll be out of the 400's, but I have struggled this month so who knows.
I hope you have a great week, and stay on the journey!
Monday, February 13, 2012
2/13/12
These last couple of weeks the words juggle, frustration, flipflop, etc. I am to the point I am starting to enjoy the exercise time, but am struggling with the food. Not so much eating right as planning and having a plan. This last month I have been able to be more busy, and am thrilled that I've been able to do it, but an old enemy has crept back in and that is the enablity or refrusal( is not the right word either) to get things ready or planning. When I get busy it's been hard to get use to plan workouts and that seems to be working itself out but meals are still hard. It's very much like juggling or balanceing a teter toter. My trainer is frantacally trying to help me, but it still comes down to I have to figure out what I can make work. This is one of the reasons I got so heavy, It was easier to eat out than fight my late husband. I got out of the habbit of making dinner. It's sad because when my older kids were little I cooked all the time. It's easy to become lazy, and in my case I got lazy in a lot of ways. Every day you hear reports on the news about how important eating meals as a family is, well it's also important to choose healthy meals for our families to. But it takes time to fix meals, and for the most part Moms all work these days. I don't know how people do it. I know it has to do with planning, so that is what I'm working on. My trainer has given me a lot of help with menus, calendars, etc. Another month has almost gone and I still don't have this conquered, I have to get a grip because I'm getting really discouraged. I don't want to allow myself to get discouraged because I have done well, but as always with me, not good enough.
I hope you all have a great Valentines day! Hang in there.
I hope you all have a great Valentines day! Hang in there.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
2/4/12
Today is my oldest sons birthday, he is 27. I hope he had a great birthday.
This week has been hard it started out ok but as it progressed my schedule took over, and I found myself literally having no time to exercise. My trainer was trying to understand and yet was concerned over me not being able to come in. I want you all to know that I have had a very trying 4 days. In this time I have decorated a wedding, sat thru an all day seminar, worked two solid days putting up dance decor for SV and in between times made a formal for my daughter. Now for a normal person that may not seem like a lot, but to someone morbedly obese it means moving your body a lot! That's not a fun thing to think about is moving. But I want you to know that I made it through and it's Sat night or I guess Sunday morning about 12:15am, and I made it. I don't know what my back will fell like when I actually get to bed, but in times past when I have big jobs like dances I don't move for 3 days, and most of the time my kids have to help me from the car to the house because physically I'm gone. Tonight I'm still going! This is what excites me because my trainer is right we do have to move our bodies for them to work properly, become strong and healthy. So even though I missed 1/2 the week I really do think with all the walking I did and lifting and carrying that I am probably pretty close to having my workouts in. Maybe I'm kidding myself we'll see how I handle the workouts this week, I hope I do ok. Life is awesome and being able to make my way is even more awesome. It's like there's hope and a bright light instead of a hole and darkness. I thank everyone that has been apart of this journey, we don't know whats ahead, or how long it's going to take but please continue with me through the bad and good and we'll do it together. Have a great week!!
This week has been hard it started out ok but as it progressed my schedule took over, and I found myself literally having no time to exercise. My trainer was trying to understand and yet was concerned over me not being able to come in. I want you all to know that I have had a very trying 4 days. In this time I have decorated a wedding, sat thru an all day seminar, worked two solid days putting up dance decor for SV and in between times made a formal for my daughter. Now for a normal person that may not seem like a lot, but to someone morbedly obese it means moving your body a lot! That's not a fun thing to think about is moving. But I want you to know that I made it through and it's Sat night or I guess Sunday morning about 12:15am, and I made it. I don't know what my back will fell like when I actually get to bed, but in times past when I have big jobs like dances I don't move for 3 days, and most of the time my kids have to help me from the car to the house because physically I'm gone. Tonight I'm still going! This is what excites me because my trainer is right we do have to move our bodies for them to work properly, become strong and healthy. So even though I missed 1/2 the week I really do think with all the walking I did and lifting and carrying that I am probably pretty close to having my workouts in. Maybe I'm kidding myself we'll see how I handle the workouts this week, I hope I do ok. Life is awesome and being able to make my way is even more awesome. It's like there's hope and a bright light instead of a hole and darkness. I thank everyone that has been apart of this journey, we don't know whats ahead, or how long it's going to take but please continue with me through the bad and good and we'll do it together. Have a great week!!
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