april 26, 2012

It's been a while since I've blogged.  I think it was around Easter when I was finally sending off the candy to my son who is serving a church mission.  Well you'll be glad to know I made it through Easter not having any candy.  We did make potatoe salad though and that was tough.  Potatoe salad is a weekness, even if I used fat free everything in it.  I also wanted to tell you about the cake I made.  I had heard this somewhere so I tried it.  You can use any type of cake mix, I had a yellow cake, and all you add is a can of pop.  I used a diet 7-up.  It was great!  I then poked holes all over and poured sugar free jello on it.  You put it in the fridge to harden up I topped it with fat free whipped cream and it was so good.
As most of you know if you've followed me, I've been having a hard time getting to my first goal of losing 45 pounds which is 10 percent of my starting weight.  I haven't figured out whats going on except I need to do better with everything.  I've thought alot about my attitude and how I've been feeling about this process, and my trainer is tring so hard to help with every area.  But I almost think I'm afraid of accepting these changes, I'll be honest it scares me to death.  I've always been heavy thats what I've always been judged by.  But my trainer is working so hard on me to accept my successes whether big or small, to learn to be happy again and to celebrate life.  I think of things I want to say in my blog, it seems, at night.  So I have a pad next to my bed and when my mind is going at it then I write down what I'm thinking otherwise I'll forget.  So I have written:  We learn more from our setbacks that we learn from our successes.  It has taken me 6 months to finally reach my first goal.  It's been a journey with a lot of set backs, but each one of those setbacks were such learning moments, that if not have had, today wouldn't have been so sweet.  I'm so excited to announce I have met my first goal.  I have lost 46 lbs. which also means I have met another goal and that is that for the first time, in a very long time I am below 400lbs.  I am in the 300's I am so excited.  Another thing I had written on my note pad was ACCEPT SUCCESS!  I am thrilled to be able to finally say I was successful reaching my first goal.  To see the difference in what I can do is increadible I even mowed my lawn yesterday, it might have taken me almost 2 1/2 hours but I did it.  It's probably been at least 10 years since I've mowed my lawn.  I am trying hard to accept these new successes in my life, and I hope all of you are to, know matter what your journey, know matter what your successes embrace them.  I hope this gives me the insentive to work even harder so that maybe it can come off just a little faster, but like I said the setbacks always teach us more and then allow the successes to be that much sweeter.  I hope all of you have success in whatever life is throwing at you, remember we're on this journey together.  Thank you to all that have been so caring to me I could not be doing this without your words of encouragement, and interest in my success.  You are what keeps me going because I would hate to let any of you down, so THANK YOU!  I have met some great new friends at the Sports Academy.  This journey truly is giving me my life back, Thank you!

4/3/12

Just a quick note.  I am up to 39 lbs. and 45 ".  This week and over the last several weeks I have been stressing over the all mighty taxes.  Tomorrow my accountant comes so today and this last week I have been doing nothing but tring to figure out a years worth of books reciepts etc.  Well I know this year it's gone a lot smother because I've been excerising.  It just is helping me cope better.  So I am grateful for that.  Am seeing a big difference, but still have so much to work on, I think it's going to be a slow process.  But one that I'm learning so much, thanks to all of you that are helping me.