12/6/11

Somebody in water arobics today asked if I realized how far I've come.  I asked what she ment.  She recalled when I first started which was the last of Oct. I barely made it into the pool and to the benches where I sat to catch my breath.  Now she said I don't do that any more.  I didn't realize people were observing, I knew they were watching me, people usually do if your obese, but for them to take the time to get to know me and then encourage me helps me tremendously.  Thank you to you all that are helping me on my journey, and way to go to those that are doing your journey with me. 
There are times I still ask myself if it's worth it.  There's been days I've been at the Sports Academy for 5 hours.  There are days I would really like to eat anything I want.  There are days I feel like I'm the only one making sacrifices.  These are my pity days.  I seem to be going into them this week.  I have been told quite often that life is a roller coaster, you'll have your good days and your bad days.  I want a great big 1/2 pound GUT BOMB, with lots of fries.  But then the, I'm suppose to be grateful side, says how could you even think of such a terrible thing.  Look at all the people that are tring to help you change your life, your terrible for wanting that aweful GUT BOMB.  These are the voices I've talked about from the start of my blog.  Actually as I read back blogs it's quite comical how much influence the voices have over me.
By just bloging it has helped me a little get over the pity party I seem to be having today.  So I guess I'll put my big girl panties on (in this case it's my swim suit again) and go back to the academy for the night water arobics class.  I know it will make me feel better!