9/12/12

This summer has been eventful like I said in the post I just wrote.  I lost a good friend, neighbor, confidont, and also my DR.  She was a really fantastic woman, one that people just wanted to be around, because of how she made you feel.  Her and I also swam years ago together till her diagnoise of cancer.  As I observed this family over the last several years, it always struck me how positive they always were, and that they were more concerned how everyone else was doing rather than them.  What an inspiration they are to me.  But at the funeral I felt like I had a realization.  I realized I had someone on the other side that really knew how I felt and that she would be helping me and giving me some of her always positive energy from heaven.  Every since then I have had a different perspective on life.  I realize how precious life is.  For a woman who was so needed on this earth by so many people, was still taken.  She had to go through hell before she could finally leave.  But through everything she went through you never heard her complain, or ask why me.  She just took it and did so valiantly.
But I have a little extra umph.  I know it's her up there cheering me on.  Like I said this summer has been eventful.  My knee has been giving me alot of pain, and it's not getting better in fact I'm trying to figure out how I can get an MRI.  It's put me back on my training some.  I have been doing alot in the pool but it still hurts.
    But the thing I want to talk about the most is how the world wants to know how much have you lost?  Why can't we ask people, what changes have you seen in your life?  Sometimes it's not about what the scale says.  Let me explain...this summer I have seen some extrodinary changes in my life.
I have been able to start doing things again that I haven't done in years.  They might seem very small to some people, but to me it's been like loseing 100 lbs.  The biggest thing I've noticed is my strength and stamina.  To be able to go out and set up my jobs, help unload my trailers, it's been years.  Even my girls commented on how much I was helping with.  Then in the last three weeks I have totally taken over my shop ( I have a home business)  It was a disaster, and I have worked 8 - 12 hour days to find and organize my store again.  I figure it's probably been 8- 10 years since it's been this organized my little girl says, ever. I am so grateful to my trainer, to my friends at the sports academy, my family, etc. for giving me the encouragement I've needed to keep going.  In the beginning I couldn't see any difference, all I knew is that I hurt all the time. Now I see what I'm being able to physically do again.  I see that I've gone from a size 44 pant and now I'm in a 36 and their getting really lose in the waist.  I've gone from a 6x shirt, and the other day I bought a 3x.  Even though I've not even lost 50 lbs, I'm finally starting to see the things that are changing my life, and even more than that I should say giving me my life back.  I have been at this 11 months now I really wanted 100 lbs off by now, that hasn't happened, but look at what has.  My goal is still to have 150 lbs. off by July when my son gets home off his church mission.  Things are finally coming together, not like I thought they would, but I quess how they were suppose to.  So all I can do is go forward, keep on trying and hope that my body parts get better and put the pedal to the medal and just keep on, keeping on.  What a journey it has been, and how fast it is going, I need all of your support, and encouragement on this journey.  It has been really eye opening how much has to do with mental.  Especially about my opinion of myself.  We all need to love ourselves, before we can love others.
We need to be able to accept us as we are, and if we need to make some changes then do our best to accomplish whatever changes we need to make. My late friends husband wrote on his facebook this week a quote that really struck me.  It says "If you do what you've always done, you will get what you always got.  If you want something you've never had, you must do something you've never done." Keep joining me on this journey your doing great!!